Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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