i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
