Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
