she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
