My room smells like vodka and shame
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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