New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
