He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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