If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
