so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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