At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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