btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
