It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
