so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
