I'm going to jail i love you
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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