I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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