So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
