you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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