Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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