He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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