he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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