Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
