I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
