Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
COCAINE IS GR8
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
