I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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