I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
