well you can't waste a boner
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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