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how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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