just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
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