i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
