she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
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My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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