I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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