Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
