Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
