There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize