i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
