Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
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I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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