can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
