i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
