We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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