so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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