Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
