..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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