Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
