Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
