So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think my vagina is haunted
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
