Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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