He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
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Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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