we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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