how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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