Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
birth control should be required to get into college
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
