Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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