How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
