Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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