He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
