there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize