My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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