The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
