we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
