so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
