I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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