We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So apparently I’m into choking now
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
