I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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