Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
