Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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