You made me cry and you don't even care
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
