well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize