I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
